#2

So many thought have been lingering on my mind,  it was so hard to be explained and tougher than I thought. I feel like I'm having the trouble of expressing my own thought which make me feel even useless. This is so hard . Or perhaps yes, I am stupid -_- . Anyhow, I am so gonna venting out all this shit thought or otherwise it would be continuously lingering on my mind for a long period . Before I proceed, I beg for forgiveness  as if there's were neither error spelling nor wrong grammar on my post. I'm just trying to improved my English hence no offence here :)

As far as I concerned, 5 days left to go and I would turn into a 20 years old young lady. One step ahead of catching my own future and being a young successful lady . Can I even fulfill my dream of being a successful lady ?  can I ? can I ? What would I be when I grow older ? Am I going to be a good adult ? Will I be a happy person in the next day ? Will I fulfill my family dream of seeing myself  to have a good life? Will I meet someone whom can ease all this pain ? All that thought have been lingering through my mind so widely. Not saying that I am too young to think about all this, sometime we should therefore we could prepare and create our own path more earlier. There's nothing wrong on to think about our future in this age. Correct me if I'm wrong . When I look around my friend, my parent, my colleague whom had a good life, had an amazing job, the thought of wanting to be like them started to running on my mind. Deep inside my heart saying 'I will be like them, yes I will' . Personally, I don't think I could make it since I'm not that good in studying, not even a diligent nor hardworking person. I'm pretty sure about it thus how could I make it? would I accomplish my dream ? tepuk dada tanya selera la kan . I once asked my mom regards to this thought, and my mom replied to me that everybody will be success as if only you have faith on yourself, have faith on whatever you do, if God will, yes your dream would be granted . thanks mom for giving me such a wonderful advise . And my mom even advised me to not even to forget to pray because, without the will of God, we are nothing, nothing without the help from God. Yes mommy I will remember all that words. I promise you.

Initially, I literally give up upon my dream since the course that I'm having on my college is literally not my choice nor my type. I'm not even from an electrical background nonetheless thankfully I managed to grab a good result every of my final semester, well not saying that I have a bombastic nor flying color of result but cukup-cukup makan la. At least, I succeed on grabbing a 3.0 pointer and above every of my semester exam. Just need to have more faith and a bit of hardworking as if I want to have a 4.0 of result but yes, I'm not gonna have that, I admit that, probably yes. which only would happen on my dream. LOL. :D .

Whenever I felt like giving up upon whatever I dream, when I look back on my dad nor my mom. My heart begin to think, why should I give up? the word 'putus asa' don't even exist on my family dictionary . Hence why should  I ? Started on something which didn't even exist my family 'to do list' . Thus I am so gonna holding on upon all what I want. I might only a dreamer by now, but I always remember that my dream will be come true. if God will. The shine will come to my life as soon as I create it :)

This laziness ass need to be rid tight away . haha . as if I can. lol .

Enough of blogging, may I excuse myself and should going to sleep now. night :)

Listening to : I'll be thinking of you by Jamie McDonald .
Xoxo