Too much of love can us sick

sometimes . . 
I feel like m lost . 
lost wif maself, lost wif ma word.'
M losing everything . 
I mean, I do well in other thing , perhaps,
but not love, 
sometimes...
I feel like give up for givng my heart to a human called guy , 
but i things turn opposite when i found him..
huu. no word can desribe how much i appreciate n love him.
he's the one that can me me smlike al the time, 
but unlucky me, we're break n its hurt me 24/7 . 
damn freaking hurt.
sometimes..
I feel like m not deserve to having a good guy, 
yea, unlucky rite..
I feel so much lost rite know..


After break up wif him, 
its really break every single pieces of my heart,
I MEAN IT~
huu . 
I cry every single morning, evening, nite
before sleep, sound crazy rite . 
the fact always hurt me .
sometimes..
when I miss him, my tears keep flowing without any reason,
I can't help my self but to let myself cry . n cry .  cry . 
I'm sick of hurt, sick of cry, m sick of everything,
but still..
my heart still keep loving him . sound idiot. but that the fact.
i hate myself for letting my heart loving him like no other guy in this world.
I HATE IF OKAE !
I miss my old attitute. i mean
before this, i used to be a person that people called
'HAPPY GO LUCKY GIRL,SMILE ALL THE TIME N  NOT GONNA CRY FOR A GUY'.
but things turn worst , i keep crying bcoz of a girl.
I hate it, i hate myself so fucking much ..


Everyday i still miss him although i know he's not feeling the same like i do,
everyday i'm hoping for him althoughi know he's otw searching 4 da new gf,
everyday i kkep saying i luv u for him , hoping that he can hear it.
everyday i keep doing all this stuft although its hurt me a lot,


I wanna hate you, but i can't.
i wanna love you, but i know it can't be..


yesterday..
i'm texting wif him..
last word from him..
'try forget me'..
n i was like...feels like . 'wanna cry, wanna hate him, wanna ....no word can describe my feeling..
On that time, ..
i reliased something , i'm not everything for him,i can't be the girl that he wanted,i can't be the girl that can hug him, luv hm,care him,be his side, . '
i can't be that girl . yea..i know that.
if only i can tell you how much i love u , i will. but i know u will not listen it, u will not look back n say i need u . i luv u n i want u . for sure not gonna happen except on my dream . 
from that moment , i know that you don't need me anymore, it's time for me to letting you go,
 yes. i will do it with a painful heart . 


yesterday, after receiving his last mesge,
I started to help myself to forget him, 
i started to delete him picture , his number, his sweet2x text,
his keychain, his memory, everything bout him, 
can't believe that i can do it yaww.. n'_'n


until now i still miss him, but i know yesterday was the last day for us,
when i miss him, the only thing i can do is open my blog n started to write an essay.
haa . 
well . i guess i have to stop being crazy bcoz of him anymore,


ineedu
imissu
iluvu

s.m.n


n_n


 i'm always pray that u will get another girl that can care you, make u smile all the time, make yo
 u happy, can 'bobo' you, will not ever find another guy but only you in her heart, u deserve it . <3